Myths Of Relationship:#3. Relationship Is Simply A Bondage!

 "There is no such thing as freedom on earth," he said. "Only different kinds of bondages. And comparative bondages. YOU think you are free now because you've escaped from a peculiarly unbreakable kind of bondage. But are you? You love me - THAT'S a bondage.

L.M. Montgomery

This is another misconception about relationship! It's a myth to single out relationship as a bondage when man is never really free as he thinks. Sincerely speaking, even as a single you are not free! That which you think you have control over, has in a way enslaved you without you even knowing! 

What you call freedom is bondage in disguise, if not, how come you are so scared of loosing it? You are limited and constrained when it comes to relationship, you obviously do not act freely! Why? Because you are in bondage! 

Due to a preconceived idea or an experience that have conditioned your mind and as such put you in bondage with or without a partner. Your reaction to any thing relationship is simply a reflex, based on that experience or preconception! 

Phobia for relationship is bondage and a pointer to deeper issues like unforgiveness and hatred, fear and uncertainty, ignorance and irresponsibility etc! Most persons who emphasize that relationship is a bondage are victims of abusive relationships in the past, they were maltreated and they are hurting!

 "Not in this life, I won't allow any man enslave me again! As a matter of fact, i'm done with anything relationship!" She was in an abusive relationship and she sworn never to be under any man again! What you call bondage is only the result of bondage, true bondage is a thing of the mind!

 For the fact you have no chains and fetters on you does not mean you are free meanwhile,  chains and fetters all over you does not make you a prisoner either! The man who is limited is limited in his mind and not by the chains on his hands! 

So many persons have been enslaved by a wrong idea and as such they are limited in such areas! The bondage in a relationship is nothing but commitment! Of which even as an individual you must be committed to every course that must succeed. 

So, why do you expect relationship or marriage to be any different? "I can't understand why he wants to know my where about at every point in time and why I have to take permission before I do anything. I just want my freedom that's all, I guess it's not too much to ask..." 

If this is what you call bondage then, it simply means you really have no idea what it means to be in a relationship. He is not monitoring you as you think, most persons get this wrong. Relationship is not something occasional, that moment when you two hold hands and walk into the mall, cinema, eatery etc.

 No, it goes beyond that it involves your every moment! It ought not to be about your feelings and your moods "I'm not in the mood for him right now, I don't just feel like..." You may not feel like hanging out but that's not an excuse to keep him hanging, distant, separated, worried etc. 

No matter what mood you are in and how ever you feel,  acknowledging the fact that he or she is a part of you that should not change irrespective of every changing emotion, makes a whole lot of difference. Because you judge your relationship base on your mood, when you are not in the right frame of mind, relationship seem as bondage to you!

 But in the actual sense and in a proper relationship, your spouse is suppose to stand by you and with you no matter your mood and not something or someone you should avoid or do away with when you are not excited! 

Personally, there's no time I talk with my boo over the phone without asking him "Where are you? What are you doing?" Not because I'm trying to monitor him but it gives me a sense of closeness and togetherness that even when he is far it seems as though he is near.

 On the other hand, it is not as if you have to ask for his or her permission to do anything rather, it is simply sharing with your partner your present as well as your future plans, carrying him or her along. Of course you two make a team and ideally, no member of the team should be left behind. 

But if you see him or her as a rival, competitor, threat, not trust worthy, you will find it difficult to carry him or her along! Your partner ought not to be any of these to you, a partner is meant to be a succor, helper, etc. 

If you stop being biased and sentimental, you will realize that love is a beautiful thing and it's a blessing to have someone to share with, I do hope you realize this soon! If you still insist on relationship being a bondage then, I personally do not pray for freedom! (winks)

Enjoy your weekend!

GoodMorningFromIseme

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