Myths Of Relationship: #1. Relationship Is A Burden And A Distraction!

Hi! Good morning and happy new month once again! I will be starting a series today on "myths of relationship", I'm hopeful that between now and the end of this month, as we treat each myth, you will see reasons to abandon those misconceptions about relationship! Here we go:

#1. Relationship is a burden and a distraction!

I know you are already thinking fast "what is she trying to say?" And you are simply anxious to confirm your thoughts from the next line before swiping to something else because you do not see this as a myth! Right? Do not be in a haste yet, hear me out! 

I'm aware how time consuming and attention demanding a relationship can be! Yes, I know and I also know that it can be disturbing and frustrating at times and this scares you a lot that you just want fun and nothing serious! I have heard guys most especially say "Relationship? Hell no! Not any time soon, I just can't handle that distraction now" 

Do you realize that sharing someone's burden is different from carrying someone's burden? Maybe you should ponder on that a little! Relationship is not meant to make you a carrier of burdens, this is exactly where most persons miss it and they land themselves in frustration trying to be two persons, living and acting for themselves as well as their spouses. 

Your spouse should not be a liability, he or she should not be redundant. Assistance does not render anyone redundant rather, taking over a person's responsibility makes them redundant. By assuming her responsibilities you are biting more than you can chew, you already have enough weight on you as an individual, adding another person's own complicates issues!

 A proper relationship does not make any party dependent on the other instead, it help's both partners to work together with each person contributing his or her own quota! It is a wrong ideology especially as a man to see yourself doing everything and taking  responsibility for everything! Someone was lamenting "...I will have to cultivate her and teach her! That's a whole ministry all together!"

 So, he is scared of the whole process that is involve in teaching and teaching and I'm wondering how he intends to cultivate a grown up adult! This is not what relationship is about, first of all, trying to cultivate an adult is monopoly and dominance! You are not suppose to manipulate anyone to suit yourself in the name of love and relationship, what about the person's own right and privileges?

 One basic rule of relationship is the law of attraction and it says that "likes attract" having a partner with similar or same values means you won't have to teach and cultivate her from the scratch, since you two must learn to accommodate and adjust to certain things for love to flourish! Values are foundation upon which every attitude is built!

 Ayn Rand says "Love is a response to value" that is why you must be very conscious of what the attraction is, opposing values will sure make one party dependent on the other. She needs you to talk her out of it, bear with her, do it for her and she's not going to make effort without you. 

As dangerous as this is, at the beginning, the independent party feels secured and excited but soon his strength begins to fail him and frustration sets in! As an individual, no matter how much you love a person, you do not have enough resources to carry the burden of two people! Nothing sucks like a dependent spouse! 

Even the bible says "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." You ought to stay together and as well fight together! Fighting for the both of you without her effort is fighting alone, a battle you cannot win! Like I will always say "relationship is mutual" do not forget!

 I hope you are or will be a pillar and not a weight on your spouse! I will show you another myth next weekend, till then stay supportive! 

Happy weekend!

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