The Truth Is That A Working Relationship Is Consciously Built, Invested In, And Properly Nurtured! The Responsibility Of Lovers

Let me start by reminding you that relationship is a mutual thing, involving two persons sharing and reciprocating love. Today, most relationships are not working not because love is lacking but due to irresponsible lovers. Some persons blame the failure of their relationships or even marriages on the bad attitudes of their partners and even conclude they were not meant to be. The truth is that a working  relationship is consciously built, invested in, and properly nurtured. But most persons just expect things to work out between them and their partners spontaneously base on compatibility. 

No matter how compatible you are with your partner, if you two do not build your relationship it will not work. A relationship that will stand the test of time is one with a solid foundation with appreciable growth and development. For instance, the durability of every building depends on its foundation. Therefore, it is paramount that you get your priorities straight, values aligned and objectives in view in building a relationship, these are the basis for a lasting relationship. Secondly, every building that is at a foundational level with one or two blocks on top cannot be inhabited no matter how durable the foundation maybe, it will not provide shelter. 

Also, a relationship that is not growing will soon be frustrating. There is meant to be a growing intimacy between lovers as they help each other become better persons, achieve their goals and set new goals. First of all, are you sure you want the relationship? If not you will not take responsibility for it. This is why both of you must be sure you want each other, none is forced into it, as we earlier established relationship is mutual. If actually there is an agreement, both parties will deliberately work together and consciously take actions to stay together. 

A working relationship is one in which the rule of commitment is established. The rule simply states that you see to it that your relationship does not fail even at the expense of what you want and how you want it because it is not just about you but what is good for the union, for both of you to stay together. But the problem is that people are ready to walk away even before they get started. Love alone cannot keep two together, you must work it out! Why do you think vows are made in marriage? "For better for worst, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health...till death do us part" if both parties work on their commitment to each other they will have less issues. 

I'm sure at this point, you are wondering how you should build your relationship right? You make so many considerations and observations before you finally approach a lady or before you say yes to a guy! This is just a prerequisite but unfortunately most persons stop here and their relationships start dying even before they get started. You are ready to get married and the only song you frequently sing lately is that you need a wife, you want to settle down. It seems to be difficult to find a wife in spite of the crowd of single ladies everywhere, finally you find one that appeals to you. 

During your search, your goal is to get the woman of your dreams, you are committed to this goal and even write a list of exactly what you want in her and this guides you in your search but what happens when she says yes to you? You hope and pray it all works out without any effort to work it out. Yes! You are to work out your relationship with your partner and this means treating your relationship as a separate entity which is not just about you but you and your spouse. So, you two must have a goal of the kind of relationship you want to build. Let me now ask you, what is the goal of your relationship? If you get it wrong every other thing will definitely be wrong and in no time love will turn into hatred. 

The question simply means why do you need a partner or spouse? Many will say things like "I'm of age, I want children of my own, I have made enough money, I have a successful career the only thing left is a wife I should get married... I have too much responsibilities because I have no husband, everyone wants me to get married they say I'm not getting younger, all my friends are married I don't want to be a laughing stock..." Obviously, there are so many selfish and wrong reasons why people get married as a result they have selfish and wrong goals for their relationships as well as marriages and wrong or extreme expectations of their partners or spouse. 

This brings us back to the original intention for marriage. Marriage is not just a societal norm or practice but an institution instituted by God to unite two into one mind, one spirit to accomplish a common goal. That is why both God and Adam were in search of a help meet not a competitor. Adam's responsibility was simply to dress and keep the garden but with Eve on board their responsibility was no longer just about the garden but the earth at large and Eve was to help accomplish this task. In Gen 1 God's mandate for the couple "...be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every creeping thing that moveth upon the earth". 

This is why as an individual whether male or female you must first discover your purpose, for in every working relationship there is alignment of purpose. She won't be committed to that which she has no interest. So when you find a partner you love whose purpose is in alignment with yours, your responsibility as a lover comes into play in working with your partner to be one in mind and in spirit which is known as communion. Fellowship makes this possible. That is why it is of paramount importance that both of you spend time together, deliberately learning each other. Not to see if she is compatible but to ensure your compatibility grows. 

This involves sharing yourself with your partner, bridging your differences and making strong and formidable your your similarities. This is a process that cannot occur spontaneously because it requires time, effort, patience, and commitment. The influence of such process on both parties over time is a key that keeps their relationship working. But most  partners spend time together with no objective and the unmarried are soon carried away and end up in lust and fornication. The objectives of such time spent together is for effective communication about both parties, their union and the reality that comes with it. 

As much as possible discuss your fears, victories, success, weakness, strength, challenges, mistakes, belief, perspectives, pains, sorrows, temptations, expectations etc. Exhaust everything you can think of, talk about your family, friends, career etc. In my own opinion, no stone should be left unturned, though some people say the past should be left out but the truth is our past has a way of creeping up in the present and even in the future. So, I think is best letting your partner know about it because it will definitely contribute to the future she wants to share with you. If she cannot handle it now I doubt if she can in time to come. This is one reason we have so many complicated relationships and homes with so much hatred, mistrust and disappointments. 

Finally, I just want to encourage you that a working relationship, a happy marriage and a peaceful home is worth the work! Be a responsible lover! You two should pray together, encourage and help each other work on your weaknesses, monitor each other's growth and mastery over such weaknesses. This is all on love/Relationship for this weekend I hope you have something new to ponder on, work with and implement in your relationship. I will like to get feedback from you, let me know your opinion and experience via the comment box.

 Happy weekend!

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE TO READ: