How To Know If He or She Is Right For You! When God's Choice Is Not Your Choice...

One of the so many questions singles ask is 'how do I know the man or woman that is right for me?' Some believe there is one particular person for them and others believe they have to choose from the lot but in all if one identifies or choose the wrong person for a spouse such person is doomed for life. 

In as much as the success of a person to a great extent depends on who he or she marries and also for the fact that marriage is for better for worst, till death do you part! So one ought to be very careful meanwhile, the phobia of getting into wrong hands is the reason why some are still single. 

How do I know the woman or man that is right for me? Some are waiting on God for divine revelation to identify this person others are believing God to choose right! Which ever the case may be, it is good that they are waiting on God.

 But if God is to do all the finding then, why did the scripture say "he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing..." 

Mind you the 'finding' is not an issue for the man alone because to find means to discover and not until the man discovers he will not propose likewise not until the woman discovers she will not accept, anyway this is by the way. 

Meanwhile, the scripture also says that "a prudent wife is from the Lord..." So, does it mean one is to wait for God or meet God for a good partner? Many persons have gone into erroneous marriages and even end up in divorce after proclaiming how they were instructed by God to marry their partners.

They tell you how they saw the lady or brother in a dream, the word of prophecy that confirmed it and all of that! I'm not saying that hearing God's voice concerning who to marry is the absolute guarantee for a successful marriage since one can fail even after hearing God if he or she works against the ordinances of the holy institution, marriage. 

My target this morning is simply to strike a balance between our role and God's role in choosing a partner. Looking at the case of Isaac in the bible, we can see that the servant of Abraham, Isaac's father went in search for a wife for the master's son, Isaac. 

When he  began his search he was not sure of who the lady should be but he was given a requirement which was more of a condition that the lady must be one from his master's kindred but there were so many young ladies in Abraham's kindred so how was his servant going to know who was right for Isaac!

He prayed to God, asking him to honour his master by blessing his journey with the right lady for Isaac, he went further to tell God that it should be that the lady who gives him water and also water his camels is the right woman for Isaac. 

He was simply saying let it be that the right woman for Isaac should also meet this second requirement! Now this requirement was more like a sign than a condition but in the case of Adam, he identified Eve as one that should be part of him 

"...this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman..."  The word 'of' expresses origin, Adam did not stop at naming her woman but went ahead to take her as his wife 

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Now, the cleavage or clinging is not just of the body but first of spirit then the soul (which entails purpose) and in fact everything.

Do you realize that Adam did not identify Eve as wife because God said so? Of course God never said so, he (God) only presented her to him like he initially presented the animals for him (Adam) to name but Adam identified that Eve was his kind, one that has his missing rib so to say or rather one that will complete him. 

So, if Adam was to search for a wife he would have been searching for a woman that will complete him. Do you also realize that it is possible for Adam not to have identified Eve? If God brings your supposed wife or husband to you, how will you recognize him or her? 

So, it is obvious that you must actually be looking out for something if not even if God brings her or him your way you will not know! I'm sure you are about asking me, what about in a situation where I have 3suitors and they are all Holy ghost filled, tongue talking brothers what do I do? 

Or I'm confused between sister A and sister B, they are both examples of an ideal woman! This is why beyond a God fearing brother or sister which of course is the number one criteria for every believer, you should know who you are and the kind of man or woman that should complete you! 

This brings us back to the issue of purpose, not every Christian lady or guy will be helpful in accomplishing and fulfilling your God given purpose. Sister A might be a very good sister in the church but she is just not right for you! 

Imagine, she is thinking and planning of affecting the world in the sphere of business and politics and you are thinking of raising men and women for God and how to depopulate the kingdom of darkness, there is obviously no agreement in purpose. 

As much as you pray for God's direction you should be looking out for a partner that is headed in the same direction as you and who shares your value system. 

The bible says the Spirit of God bears witness with our spirit that we are sons of God so, you might not really hear an audible voice as you hope to hear concerning the person you should marry, an inner witness may just be all you have. 

This inner witness is peace and certainty deep down. While most of the time though not all the time you get confirmations or approval of biological and spiritual parents or counsellors. 

And I would like to counter the popular myth that God's choice of partners for us are always people we do not like, in as much as there are cases like that it is not always the case. 

I have heard some persons say they never loved their wives or husbands initially but they married the person because he or she was God's choice but when you listen to their story very well you realize that though they are believers but then, they were looking out for the wrong factors!

Such as beauty, anointing charisma, money, achievement, degrees etc. Though these things are not wrong in themselves but they are not solid or right foundations to build a marital relationship therefore, God in his infinite mercies says no to your choice and points out his choice to you which he does not force on you.

In that case, God is not just saying that sister A is not good for you but that the factors you are looking out for are worthless.

But how did they know their choice was not God's choice? When it is God's will there is this peace and calmness in your spirit but if not there is doubt and uncertainty, you just have the feeling that something is not right and that is exactly why you won't be at peace with yourself. 

Meanwhile, this even depends on if your relationship with the father (God) is cordial. If you have not be hearing God speak to you, how do you expect to hear him now regarding who to marry? 

And again the above listed factors might be present in the right person for you and that does not disqualify him or her, who ever said God wants you to marry a poor man or an ugly girl? 

These features are not God's determining factors, he simply wants you to marry the man or woman that will truly be a companion for you and help you fulfill purpose and complement you on every side! 

This is why your relationship with the father should be intact and you should know how he speaks to you if not you might end up with the wrong person because you are looking out for the wrong factors and because you do not know how to hear God, you miss out of his guidance for you! 

A beautiful Saturday morning to you, I hope you enjoy your weekend!

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